I Just Don't Know

I just really don't.
I always have this feeling in my gut sometimes where I just want to yell and scream and make a scene. NO ONE knows the real me when I'm like this. It's just this year. I've just turned into this monster since 10th grade. I call it a monster because I hate how I feel. I feel like a monster. A monster who can't find his herd. His place.
I feel like a monster because I don't fit in. Monsters don't fit in do they?


I write on here because I have no one else to tell. I have to get it out somewhere.
It gets bottled up inside of me where no more feelings can fit. I just have to explode.
I have a great friend Alex. But he's only there for me sometimes. So I guess he's not a good friend. He said he's not good with "the phone."
We can't see each other much because we live far away and he says he's like that with the phone because we can't see each other much. Which I think is total bull.
Youth Retreat tomorrow.
Great.


Sorry if this doesn't make sense to you. I just took what was inside of my endless brain and starting typing.
I'm so glad I can make blogs like this. It makes me feel so much better.
Just getting it out.
And off my chest.