Insecurity

This insecurity is terrible.
And it's not insecurity about my looks.
I'm just insecure at school.
In my insides, I feel insecure.
About the simplest things.
Like today.
Today, I was coming out of the bathroom and I saw a guy I knew.
So I wave.
Then I notice there's a girl walking next to him and I all the sudden walk and wave insecurely. And all the sudden FEEL insecure.
I've realized recently, it's not the school.

It's me.

*Thank you "Anonymous" for commenting.

WRONG

There IS something wrong with me.
And I don't care who says there isn't.
I know myself and this is not how I always have been.
I WAS once happy.
I'm so sick of this.
I need a physiciatrist. Oh, God!

Please help me.

Mom

My mom prayed for me in the car this morning.
The few words she prayed started my day off right.
Now I know I can't let go of my pride and say thank you to you so I will on here.

Thank you mom.

God, Please

Well, at least I know my tears are working.
I want to throw in the towel.
I really do.
Tonight, my parents told me the whole calvary school idea is over.
My dad gets paid too much so we can't get financial aid.
But we also can't afford it.
That school wasn't a light at the end of the tunnel, but it symbolized a candle.
Now, it's over.
I hate Florida.
And I hate how my life has been.
I'm so insecure.
I've never been at the right schools.
I was never at the right place at the right time.
God, I'm crying out to you.
What is your plan for me.
Show me the way.
I'm giving it all to you.

Please.

Friendship

So, Jose..
The topic is friendship.
Well,
...
That's easy.
Friendship=you.
You understand me the most.
Out of anyone.
You always give me encouragement.
Even when I don't need it at the moment.
;]
I rather have you than 20 girlfriends.
You know exactly who you are and it's great.
I'm so glad we have become so much closer.
Even though were so far away, we still find a way to talk.
It's amazing.
You are one of a kind, Jose.
Never change, ever.
I love you oh so much buddyboo.

Yours Truly,
Rachel. Your buddyboo.

<3

Freckles

I have freckles all over both my knees.
Just thought I'd share that with you.

I think it's pretty awesome if you ask me.

Environment

Environment is everything.
Yesterday we looked at a cute little villa in a peacefulpeaceful city.
Were probably buying it.
The neighborhood is so laid back and peaceful.
I love it.
There is a little lake slash canal in the backyard.
I can take such great pictures and videos there.
Also, there's so much greenery in the whole city.
ALSO, there is 3 pools AND a country club with 2 restaurants, a pool table, gym, and another pool.
AHHHH!
It's like the city and house is made for me.
It has everything I like there.
I hope we buy it.
I'll be so much more happier and relaxed.

And feel great.